Date or not to date?

Being a young adult is challenging: so many decisions to make in various aspects of life that will shape one's future - including relationships. But what are the determining factors for young adults when it comes to romance? Why is it so difficult to find love? And what dangers lurk in our technology-driven world?

Feeling connected to one another is a basic human need. As children it is our family and friends that we connect with deeply. These early experiences with family members, their communication style, relationship status, and relationship competence are all factors that determine how emerging adults form their own relationships. In fact, the social context, particularly the practices of parents, has a greater impact on interpersonal abilities than the interactions within the parental couple. The role of the family of origin is further determined by problems arising in the relationship between the parents; conflicts, arguments within the relationship, and the appearance of divorce in the family can be associated with the success of premarital relationships of the children. According to research, children of divorced parents are at greater risk of divorce and conflict in their own relationships.

Expanding on the role of parental conflict, a childhood filled with parental disputes determines the perceived relationship effectiveness of children in young adulthood. Relationship effectiveness is the feeling of how competent we are in solving our relationship problems. Ongoing conflicts between parents reduce the relationship effectiveness of their offspring; witnessing their parents' example, children will resort to arguing as means of communication. Ultimately, decreased relationship effectiveness leads to lower relationship quality. Similarly, parental divorce, as a problem-solving strategy, results in a positive attitude toward divorce and a more negative one toward marriage in the children's generation, reducing the level of commitment, thus leading again to problem-solving through divorce.

Conflict resolution is mainly learned through social learning during growth, but as adults, we can learn conflict resolution and communication strategies anytime, leading to better problem-solving strategies. If as (young) adults, we resolve conflicts in our relationships using these strategies, it ensures a greater sense of relationship effectiveness and satisfaction.

Why is finding a partner difficult?

Although partner seeking has many individual factors - everyone has preferences regarding their partner - it may seem more challenging nowadays. Romantic beliefs are common knowledge or our understanding of love and relationships, such as love at first sight or finding 'the one' that everyone is looking for and wants to find. From these beliefs arise romantic expectations, which can have positive effects on love life if the partner meets them and negative effects if not. All of these influence relationship satisfaction and commitment.

Commitment is also influenced by the investment in the relationship and the quality of alternatives. Social media offers numerous alternatives that are constantly visible to us. Alternatives may not only be other relationships but also being single. Commitment to the relationship decreases when a large number of attractive alternative partners are available, and the current partner may seem easier to replace. Evaluating alternatives occurs through social comparison. Since everyone strives to present their best selves on social media, the difference between one's own relationship and others' relationships may seem significant. This difference often leads to dissatisfaction, which can even result in the breakup of the relationship.